Rehearsing A Bonkai one-shot
by JemiCloisFan
Summary: Hey it's me Kai Parker aka the almighty warlock and siphoner. I'm here to tell you a true story and don't listen to Bonnie if she says it didn't happen like that! (a different take at 6x17) Oh and I wanted to thank BonkaiFantaisy for the idea


I was a complete mess. I felt even worse than before right after I merged with

Luke. Now it seemed like I was made of guilt. It was eating me alive and I

couldn't sleep. I tossed the sheets and turned on my stomach. I replayed what

happened in the rave once again. To say that I made a fool of myself was an

understatement. Of course she hated me, how could I imagine it could be

otherwise ? I ran a hand on my face.

 _If I see your face again, I'll melt it._

I was almost sure it wasn't just a threat but a promess. Her voice and tone spat

so much fire...So...So feisty ! I groaned in annoyance. When will I stop being

attracted to her ?! It started when I stalked her and the piece of crap known as

Damon in 1994 and the sensation never left me. This was intensified after the

merge. I got up and went to get a glass of water in the small kitchen. No luxury

for someone evil like me, right ? I didn't have much expenses except for

clothes. I chuckled a little when I realized it was making me sound kinda gay.

Kai : That's for you, Luke **I lifted my glass as if it was alcohol**

Then like a monster lurking out of a dark corner, memories of all the horrible

things I did to Bonnie came to my mind. My eyes started to water and I knew it

wasn't a alien pouring liquid. I did some research on that topic. Alright, enough

with my thoughts. Let's move on to what happened next. My phone started to

ring.

Kai : **I picked up** Who's the moron who's calling me in the middle of the night ?

Damon : Well, you're awake anyway.

Kai : If it's about your little mama...

Damon : It is. I need...

Kai : I already told you, she's a ripper. No way I'm helping you.

I don't know if you already noticed but Damon isn't the smartest vampire in the

box.

Damon : I could convince Bonnie.

Kai : **my heart missed a beat** You think ?

Damon : Yeah.

Now that's interesting.

Kai : Keep talking, I'm listening.

* * *

Alright. That was how my lunch date with Bonnie went. Well, I should stop

calling it that. It was at the Grill and she grilled my face with her wonderful

green eyes. I laughed a little at my joke. Sorry, I'm getting sidetracked. The

most important thing is that she accepted to come to the 1903 prison world. Yes

mark my words : it's the most important thing. I couldn't care less about

Damon or his mother. Now I need things to be perfect. Well at least what I'm

going to say. Maybe I should rehearse. I stood up and got in front of a mirror.

Kai : Hey, Bon ! Yeah I'm calling you Bon because I think it's cute and short just like you. Wait, does this remind you of 1994 when I was mean ? Ok not a good idea then. How was your day ? Mine was...Ugh rambling here.

The flirting bit wasn't bad though.

Kai : Alright let's try this again. Hello, Miss Bennett. I'm here to escort you to the crazy year of 1903. Yes, I'm Mrs Parker aka expert in prison worlds and...

Now that sounded weird and way too formal. Maybe I should crack a joke or

two to make her feel at ease. Oh I don't even know if she likes jokes. She didn't

laugh with Damon but again he isn't very funny in my opinion. One more try.

Kai : Hey Bonnie, guess what ? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together...

Wow this is so corny ! Even in my 'time' as I call my life pre-1994 prison world

this pickup line was outdated so I can't imagine now. I sighed. I can't find the

right words...

* * *

Here we are in 1903. The snowy version. I caught a snowflake with my tongue.

See Bonnie, I can be really adorable ! Maybe it worked because she said we

should split. Now I was following her deciding wether or not I should try a

joke again. The Crocodile Dundee one was a flop.

Bonnie : We're getting closer, I can feel it.

Kai : Speaking of...

Bonnie : What ?!

Kai : **I rose my hands** I came here in peace.

Bonnie : **she laughed** Alright now you made me laugh. Peace is never in your vocabulary. You're not fooling me.

Kai : Ugh why is it so hard for you to believe me ?!

Bonnie : Where do I start ?!

Kai : You're not even listening. I can't believe I spent so much time rehearsing in front of a mirror for nothing...

Bonnie : Wait, you rehearsed ?

Kai : **my cheeks burned and I hoped she would think it was the cold air** Yes because I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to babble.

Bonnie : Fail **she sighed** This is a bad idea. Being here to free Lily...

Kai : I don't like it either **I frowned** Wait, why are you here then ?

She took out a knife.

Kai : Oh, you want to kill me. Figures. Look you don't have to like me..

I wish you would though.

Kai : **I continued** But you can't kill me. You wouldn't feel whole again. Trust my experience on that.

She dropped the knife on the snow.

Kai : If Lily is a problem, I'll handle it with you.

Something appeared in her eyes but I don't know what it was.

Kai : **I extended my hand** Truce ?

After what seemed years, she carefully grabbed my hand. Now I knew exactly

what to say.

Kai : You have very nice palms.

THE END!


End file.
